It all Boils Down to Courage- Do You Have What it Takes?

May 30, 2013

Pic-courage-quoteOne of my favorite quotes is “Fall down 7 times, get up 8” by Buddha.  It’s such a subtle quote and so much where I’ve been these past 8 months. I can’t believe I haven’t written since October of last year!  Or maybe I can after I tell you all I’ve been going through—and it really does “all boil down to courage…”

Have you ever had the rug pulled out from under you? Like really pulled hard and you land smack on your rear end in shock of what just happened.  Well that’s what happened to me… My relationship of 12 years ended back in September of 2012, and that was the beginning of the rug pulling.  Then we sold the house in February, and I had to move out and find a place to live, and then I was just simply exhausted from it all.  I had no energy left to work, so I decided to leave the job I was in…  I so just needed to take some time off to get my energy back and just simply take care of me—so that’s what I did.  March 8 I quit the job and took some time just for me.  It had been SOOO long that I took any time for myself, I had no idea what to do.  The good news is it didn’t take me long to figure it out. I traveled to Big Sur and did an amazing workshop at the Esalen Institute on Callings- How to figure out what you really want to do with your life, lead by the inspiring Gregg Levoy. It was life changing, and I traveled to be my family and hiked a ton with my dog and read, and read and read- the library was my “go to” place. (Some of the books I read- Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer, Soul Money by Lynn Twist and Sacred Contracts by Carolyn Myss.)

So why am I tell you all of this— there are a few reasons— one, I wanted to share with you why I was absent from my blog, and two, the real reason is I want to inspire you to check in with yourself- to inject you with some courage to look and I mean really look hard at your life, your work, your relationships, your spirituality- Are you fulfilled? Are you happy? Is something missing? Does something need to change?

Do you have what it takes to really give a hard look at your life and have the courage to make the changes you need to live a more fulfilled life?

I know it’s not easy, take it from me, it’s REALLY hard. However, I had a really amazing support system I put into place to help me with all of these changes that happened in my life.  I had an inspiring and gifted therapist, a wonderful coach, and so many supportive friends.   There’s no way I could have made it these past 9 months without them and I’m forever grateful.

So don’t wait until it’s too late, take a good look at your life and make some changes for the better. We all deserve to live a wonderfully, supportive, happy and inspiring life, filled with people who love, care and support us.


5 Steps to Daring Greatly and Living Authentically

September 13, 2012

I was totally shocked when I realized I hadn’t written in my blog since July—yikes! I thought for sure I had written something in August— nope!  So I thought this post would be PERFECT to get me back on track.  It’s interesting how life throws these curve balls at you and even more interesting how you respond.  One thing I know for sure is that life is ALL about CHANGE—you have to simply just expect it and realize you absolutely have NO CONTROL What we need to do is simply prepare ourselves well with riding the waves… And that’s how this post came to be… the 5 Steps to Daring Greatly and Living Authentically…

It’s funny how things happen—because I certainly don’t believe in coincidences…  The whole month of July I was away traveling— only home for 5 days, and they weren’t even consecutive days!  And on my last trip working a very stressful 8 day event a friend showed me a TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) video by Brene Brown—  it was so PERFECT—I laughed out loud and even dare I say—cried too…  And that’s where this title of  my article came from—Brene Brown who just wrote another book called Daring Greatly, How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

I was lucky enough to be in the audience to see Brene on the new Katie Couric Show which is premiering this week.  Her focus is on how we can be vulnerable and how this will transform us.  Her background is a researcher and she’s a professor at the University of Houston Graduate College for  Social Work School.  She’s spent years studying, shame, and vulnerability.  She tells her story in the TED video, so check it out I won’t bore you with it here… She also did a follow-up TED talk which was equally inspiring and funny too. Her video is in the top 10 most watched video on TED.

What was even cooler is I was there because a good friend works on the show and surprised me by bringing me backstage to meet her. She was so gracious and as wonderful in person as on the show. They gave us all a copy of her new book, which I had her sign for me and I took a photo with her as well…  This was an inspiring experience for me, one that I will always treasure. I connected with her because she’s so left brained like me- we just want strategies and tools, we don’t want to have to deal with emotions, feelings and being vulnerable- yikes… As an aside—If you catch the episode of Brene, you will see yours truly for my 15 seconds of fame in the show- They did a man on the street and asked me a question—I had to answer the question- I feel vulnerable when…. So check out the show to see more…

Well guess what, this is the key to living a full and joyful life, not numbing or stuffing my feelings, but giving them space.  In fact I started rereading some terrific books by Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are, The Places that Scare You and When Things Fall Apart. All of her books are about being present, meditating and feeling and being with your emotions, but not letting them run your life…

So here in lies the real core message— these are the 5 things I learned from Brene on Daring Greatly and these are the things I’m striving for in my life so I can live it more fully, not matter what challenges I’m facing or going through…

1)    Overcoming Self-doubt

2)    Being more Authentic

3)    Practicing Self-Compassion

4)    Finding More Gratitude and Joy everyday

5)    Nurturing creativity, play and rest

If you can work on mastering one or two of these, you will live a much more joyful and full life. Of course mastering more than one, would be ideal. But you don’t have to be that ambitious, just take one step forward and tackle one of these today and let me know how you do!


What Do Your Customers Want to Buy?

May 24, 2012

I’ve been asked this question over 1,000 times— what do my customers want to buy? And another questions I get is– how can I figure out what product or service to create so that they will buy it from me?  And I get a gillion more.  Here’s the real scoop on what people want to buy and I want to give you as much information as I can so you can be incredibly successful with creating the best products and services for your clients and customers.

I stumbled upon this book years ago—7 Steps to Freedom II: How to Escape the American Rat Race, by Benjamin Suarez. It’s a rather dated book, published in 1994, and a very BIG hard back book, so I wouldn’t travel with it.  This book is awesome if you’re considering doing direct mail and if you want some real insides on how people buy, and what to sell, how to make money formulas to be profitable, it’s a really good step by step- albeit dated.

What I want to share with you was the ONE thing that I got out of this book and it was his whole discussion and presentation of “Why people buy.”  So here are some key takeaways for your business:

Generally speaking people buy to spend money, be affluent, feel good and to avoid and solve the problems they’re having.  They don’t want to buy things that are hard work, cause risk or that are time consuming. I’m talking about the majority of people, not the 5% of entrepreneurs like you and me. The key is people want “Quick and Easy” solutions.

Here’s a list according to Benjamin Suarez of what people want to buy for:

  1. Immortality and Survival
  2. Power
  3. Love
  4. Money
  5. Recognition
  6. Acceptance
  7. Parental Success
  8. Career Success
  9. Marital Success
  10. Health
  11. Success in Competitive Games
  12. Avoidance of Hardships
  13. Recreational Fun
  14. Avoidance of Unpleasantness

Knowing this list above is hugely important. This gets into the psyche of the REASONS people buy and the “things” they buy for.  After I read this list, it made so much sense to me.  So the next time you’re gearing up to sell or promote a new product or service, take note of these things above and in your promotion and copy address one or some of these that fit.

Also, take a look at this list and it might also help you figure out which product or service to create. We already know the popular markets like Health and wellness, weigh loss and physical fitness, and of course love.  But don’t forget about recognition, immortality, acceptance, fun, and making money!

AND if you need any help with trying to figure out what next product or service to create or offer, check out my latest presentation on the 17 Ways to give your customers exactly what they want—Never Guess Again what your next product or service will be.


What’s Holding You Back From the Success You Deserve?

April 26, 2012

This question I’ve been asked countless of times from coach’s, mentors, therapists, and many an event speaker. In fact, I just got back from listening to Larry Winget speak at the Glazer Kennedy Super Conference in Dallas and his approach was more like a baseball bat to the forehead, but I think it worked.  I know I GOT it- what he was saying… let me explain…

If you don’t know Larry he has several best-selling books out there- one called- Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life, my other favorite is- You’re Broke Because You Want To Be. He has an interesting no holds bar approach to success and creating a better life for yourself. His approach for me was very refreshing and different from other personal development type folks out there.

The real thing that’s holding you back from your success is honestly, well— YOU!  I know that, I’ve known that about myself for a while.  If I don’t like my life, I have no one to blame but myself, I’ve created it. And I KNOW I will get a lot of people who won’t like this post, but guess what I’m ok with that.  I want people to either love me or not. I’m not crazy enough to want everyone to like me, I know that’s not possible, and I’m really ok with that.

So if you’re still reading—here’s a transformative exercise you can do right now to kick your success in high gear— Take about 20 mins and get out 3 sheets of paper.

  1. First piece of paper-  Write down where you are in your life right now—in specific areas like finance, physical, spiritual, relationships, business, etc.
  2. Next, write down where you WANT to be
  3. Last, write down what you have to GIVE UP in order get to where you want to be—

The real key here is STEP 3—Writing down what you will GIVE UP.  Most people create a plan of HOW they will get there, not realizing that they may need to give up some things in order to get where they want to go. This is how you will reach true success—giving up whatever is making your broke, unsuccessful, unhealthy, and whatever is keeping you from being financially successful.  This is huge.  Don’t want, do this exercise now and let me know your thoughts and how you do.  The last key is you have to really want success bad enough to do WHATEVER it takes to get there. Come join me, let’s do that in 2012 together!


Are You Hard Wired To Fail?

March 16, 2012

Do you ever set important goals and then find yourself really struggling and not being able to meet them?

I used to have MANY sleepless nights when I first started my business. I would freak out about where my next dollar was going to come from or how I’d finish a project or what to do about x, y and z, it was endless. Worry was taking over my life.  Until I was able to read some terrific books on worry and learn about ways that really helped stop me in my tracks and enabled me to push past my worry and fears to create more success for myself.  The thing is there was definitely something stopping me and a lot of times I had NO clue what it was.

Have you ever felt like something was stopping you? You may be right: your subconscious mind can influence in you subtle ways to keep you from achieving your goals!

Here’s how it works: when you experienced a challenging event as a child – even something as seemingly small as your third-grade teacher yelling at you for asking a question in class – your subconscious downloads the details of that moment and marks the memory with a trigger. It’s like there’s a trigger in your mind saying, “There’s trouble here!”

If a new event activates that trigger, the creative problem solving part of your brain shuts down – stripping you of all the resources and capabilities you should have. So you stop moving forward. And you may not even understand why you stopped because it isn’t a conscious decision. Your subconscious is the one that decided to shut you down.

Want more information about how past events affect current performance, even without you being aware of it? Join my friends and colleagues Jack Canfield (America’s Number One Success Coach and “Chicken Soup for the Soul” author) and Pamela Bruner (Business Success Coach and EFT tapping expert) for a free video, “Are you Hard-Wired You To Fail: What’s Stopping You From Succeeding.” Details here: http://tinyurl.com/6o3d3u3


How to Give Your Customers Exactly What They Want

March 8, 2012

Technique #1:  Start With Your Outcome, Not Questions 

This week I want to challenge you with this thought: “Think Outside of the Box.”  The topic of this blog is a little different and will require you to think outside of the box.

Diving right into it, I do not want you to think about all the questions to put into your survey.  I want you think about the outcome first!  So many people fail before they hit the ground running with their survey because they think “Questions First.”

Think about it…before creating and writing questions, you need to know what you want from them first.  Therefore, in hindsight, your first question to ask is: “What is your Outcome.”  and “What’s your goal, what information do you need, or what kind of problems in your business will a survey help you with?”

Once you figure out your outcome, the next step is coming up with some objectives.  It is very important to limit your objectives to two for the outcome.  By limiting your objectives to two, it will help you in the end with coming up with specific questions.   Another reason for keeping it to two objectives is to follow my number one rule with surveys:

Less questions is more! No more than 15 Questions!

To help you out, I am going to give you some examples of good outcomes and objectives to get your creative juices flowing.

  • I want to get new testimonials – at least 10.
  • I want to find out what keeps my clients awake at night.
  • I want to know what my client’s biggest challenge is.
  • I want to know what my customers like and don’t like about my newsletter.
  • I want to know what kind of topics my customers want to read about in my blogs.

So your homework this week is to take the time and come up with some serious outcomes that you’d like to get for doing a survey to your prospects and customers.


Solving the Mystery of What Your Clients Want

March 1, 2012

Whether you are an entrepreneur or working directly with clients starting from scratch with a new idea is hard, especially when it comes to creating new products. Knowing exactly what your clients need and are looking for is pretty much like a guessing game.

Unless… you know the secret of predicting exactly what your clients want and are looking for.  Today, I am going to share that secret with you.

In fact, it is extremely simple…all you have to do is ASK THEM. The key to this “Secret” is realizing the core of what your clients or prospects want lies in doing a survey—asking a series of questions:

  1. What do they want?
  2. What are their biggest challenges?
  3. What keeps them awake at night?
  4. Based on the above information, what new tools should we create for them?
  5. What is the best format for these products/tools? Online? Printed? Audio/Video?

By doing a survey, it is more than a client asking random questions.   It is about the whole survey process, which includes:

  • Figuring out the goals of your survey and what you want to accomplish with it
  • Implementing the whole survey process
  • Getting a Big Response
  • Using your Results in your business

Over the next few weeks, I will share my secret with you as well as the entire process that goes with it.