Life is Simply Made up of Many Transitions…

Yours truly and Melanie my godchild

I will never forget that particular day in February,  many years ago, when I received the call that my sister was on her way to the hospital because she was going to have her first baby.  This was big news in our family, mainly because she was the first sibling to have a baby. It was doubly exciting for me because I was going to be an aunt and she had asked me to be the baby’s godparent. I was awed and taken aback, sounded like a big responsibility, yet I was thrilled and jumped in with both feet as I always do.

My mom, sister, me and Melanie at her christening

The christening was about 6 weeks later, so I booked my plane ticket and flew down to meet my little godchild. She was beautiful, always smiling, happy and had taken to me as I held her and rocked her to sleep. She loved to fall asleep on my shoulder.  It was an amazing experience, holding that little tiny baby as she was baptized and everyone looking on in the church.  The only sad thing for me was my sister lived over 1000 miles away, so I would try to make a trip once a year for a week to visit and hang out with my godchild. I remember one trip in particular we had had so much fun, that when it was time for me to go she ran onto the bed and flopped across my suitcase and declared “I’m going, pack me in your bag!”

Melanie trying to fit into my suitcase so I can take her home with me. (She was 3 yrs old)

Fast forward 16 years later, my little godchild is not so little anymore (She’s taller than me now!).  In fact, I just got back from spending a week with her, my sister and her family.  As it turned out, my wonderful godchild was graduating from high school.  It was so wonderful to be there for her. She’s so grown up! When did that happen?  It was another amazing experience and a huge transition. In fact, my sister and I, since her first child was born, have both gone through many transitions. She moved several times and had 2 more kids, both girls.  My transitions were many, surviving 4 layoffs in 9 years, a divorce, and the poor passing of my 2 beloved Golden Retrievers.

Melanie and I at her graduation this month. (She's 18 now!)

So, as I was sitting there in that amphitheater with my mom, watching Melanie (my godchild) walk across that stage and accept her diploma, I was awash with tears of joy and sadness.  How did this time pass so quickly?  And when did I become the “cool” aunt that all my nieces wanted to hang out with?  How bizarre to be sitting here watching a graduation of over 600 students in Houston, Texas and be struck with all the transitions we go through in life.  So, this prompted me to write because as I saw the amazing transformation of my godchild, I also know she has wonderful parents (and aunts, uncles and grand parents) who have instilled in her many survival tips and tactics of sorts on how to make it through each and every life transition in one piece.

And since I’ve been through many of my own life transitions, some of them all at once (my divorce, laid off from my job, losing my house, my best friend) I wrote a chapter about it for this awesome book by Debbie Phillips (Founder of Women On Fire) Women on Fire, 20 Inspiring Women  Share their Life Secrets (and Save you Years of Struggle!). I have the honor of being one of the 20 Inspiring Women who share their life secrets in Debbie Phillips new book, Women On Fire. This book is a heart-stirring and heartwarming anthology of stories written by 20 courageous and powerful women who faced real-life challenges and successfully moved through them to become authentic women on fire. Each woman shares the details of a seemingly insurmountable obstacle and describes how she summoned the strength to overcome it and emerge stronger, healthier, happier, and more deeply fulfilled. The most important part of their message is that you can do the same! If you want to discover more about my 7 Secrets to Life’s Transitions, click here!

I’m thrilled to be a part of this book, this Women On Fire movement and to have so many wonderful Women on Fire in my life – my sister, my mom, my beautiful godchild, and my nieces!

Click here to order your personal signed copy of Women On Fire by yours truly!!

Debbie Phillips, Founder of Women on Fire and me with the new "Inspire Me" DVD

If you want to be inspired even more, check out the newly printed – WOMEN ON FIRE DVD: Inspire ME – it’s s a delightful video tour into the world of Women on Fire.

Discover ways to move forward in your life when you meet real-life women who are “on fire” about their lives. Click here for more information about the DVD and how to order.

You will experience the magic of Women On Fire Tea Parties (read more about how the Women On Fire Tea Parties saved my life) and be invited into an exclusive live Women on Fire workshop.

7 Secrets to Surviving Being Let Go From Your Job…

This seems to be the hot topic – what to do when you get laid off from your job? It’s unfortunately affecting hundreds, if not thousands of people, right now as I write.  And this is no time to jump for joy or make light of your situation. In fact, I hope that I can help you with offering you my own words of wisdom by revealing my 7 secrets to how I was able to survive being let go from my job.  This is where I have the honor of being brutally honest with you because, I not only was let go from my corporate job once, but I was let go 4 times in 9 years!

The really awesome inspiring thing about my journey from job to job, was I discovered a ton of things about myself, my work, and my life from going through this experience SOOO many times.  In fact, it was such an ordeal for me that I ended up writing over 10,000 words about it.  The fun news is that I was able to edit those 10,000 words down to 3,000 and wrote a chapter and am a co-author in the newly published book, Women On Fire, 20 Inspiring Women Share Their Life Secrets (and Save You Years of Struggle!) by Debbie Phillips, Founder of Women On Fire.

Yours Truly signing my first copy of the book for a good friend!

Yours Truly and Debbie Phillips, Women On Fire Founder

My chapter is poetically called: Breaking Loose From Corporate America: 7  secrets to surviving being let go from your job. In my chapter, I highlight the 7 things that really helped me to deal with being laid off all those times. The real tough part was the first time I was told that I wasn’t a match in the current job I was in.  I was only in the position for 3 months and they changed the qualifications and wanted me to leave.  That had NEVER happened to me before. I had worked all my life since I was right out of college. I had no clue what to do with myself if I wasn’t working. I totally had identified with my work, I was my job. With no job, who in the world was I now?  This was a huge step for me getting past this point. And I’ll reveal to you a few of my secrets to help you on your journey. (For a complete list and to read about my story, you can order your personally signed copy of the book by me here.) The first thing that was truly a Godsend was my Executive Coach, Debbie Phillips.  She was the glue (and the help of my therapist) who kept me together and helped me make some very intelligent decisions that have served me well.  So Secret #1 is – “You have to have support!”  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  You need a support system, or I call it a support team to help get you through these difficult times, don’t try to do it alone.

My 2nd Secret is “Tame the Mind.” This was was incredibly helpful. I had went to several spiritual classes to help me learn how to meditate. I would highly recommend visiting Kripalu or the Omega Institute.  Plus I read these inspiring books by Pema Chodron’s- The Places that Scare You,  When Things Fall Apart, or Start Where You are. There were many more I read, yet these truly helped me in my journey to overcome the loss of my job. Because being let go is a loss and you have grief and are grieving from this loss.  So that was helpful too, to acknowledge my grief, own it and let it simply then to pass through me.

Being let go from your job, is really hard and can be extremely challenging on many levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and of course financially.  And I know it’s really hard to see right now that your being let go was really a gift to you.  It certainly was for me.  Having been let go so many times, I finally got it- Corporate America was not my playing ground anymore!  I was thrilled to be able to start my own Direct Response Marketing Coaching and Consulting company. It’s been 3 years since I started my business and I haven’ ever looked back with regret.

Here's the cover of the book!

Here’s some more in depth information about the book - Women On Fire, 20 Inspiring Women Share Their Life Secrets (and Save You Years of Struggle!) by Debbie Phillips, Founder of Women On Fire.

Are you in the midst of “life issues” and feel as though they may prevent you from living your deepest passion?  Are you ready to be “on fire” about something special in your life? Save yourself from unnecessary struggling and get this book!!

I have the honor of being one of the 20 Inspiring Women who share their life secrets in Debbie Phillips new book, Women On Fire. This book is a heart-stirring and heartwarming anthology of stories written by 20 courageous and powerful women who faced real-life challenges and successfully moved through them to become authentic women on fire. Each woman shares the details of a seemingly insurmountable obstacle and describes how she summoned the strength to overcome it and emerge stronger, healthier, happier, and more deeply fulfilled. The most important part of their message is that you can do the same!

Here are 13 of the Co-Authors at a Special book party before the book came out.

Reading these inspiring stories, you will discover how you too, can:

• Tap into your passion and make a living from it
• Transform being laid off or fired into exciting new dreams
• Survive and even flourish after the death of a spouse or loved one
• Joyfully step off the corporate track
• Gracefully move through divorce and thrive after it
• Find love, even when you think it has passed you by
• Earn your college degree in midlife
• Be enriched from the responsibility of caring for both your children and your parents
• Successfully overcome an eating disorder
• End job burnout…forever

As you can see, these topics cover a wide range of speed bumps we all can experience in this wonderful journey of living our lives. And it is not always about the actual speed bump but more importantly how we deal with it. Does it stop us in our tracks or do we learn and grow from it? And as for yours truly, my speed bump was particularly challenging for me, but I chose to stop, take the time to see and ultimately to grow from it and in the end I was in a much better place.

Click here to order your personal signed copy of Women On Fire by yours truly!!

Yours Truly and Debbie Phillips holding the 1st copy of the Inspire Me! Dvd.

If you want to be inspired even more, check out the newly printed – WOMEN ON FIRE DVD: Inspire ME – it’s s a delightful video tour into the world of Women on Fire.

Discover ways to move forward in your life when you meet real-life women who are “on fire” about their lives. Click here for more information about the DVD and how to order.

You will experience the magic of Women On Fire Tea Parties (read more about how the Women On Fire Tea Parties saved my life)and be invited into an exclusive live Women on Fire workshop.

So, get your copy of the book and DVD today and carry this wisdom with you as proof that you too can survive and more importantly thrive in this life!!!

Conferences – Love Them or Loathe them

Shannon & Rory Fatt at the Info Summit

I have had the pleasure of attending various conferences a year for the past several years. I know what you are thinking – conferences yes they are fun, great place to network and even learn some new tools to help your business. BUT, they take up so much time and all the hassles of traveling… Yes, they do have good points and as I like to think, challenging points. However, I want you to think of conferences from another point of view: How I can maximize my investment? How can I take conferences one step further and enhance my business?

I have put together 12 secrets to achieving much more out of the conferences you attend. Here are the top 5: (if you want the whole 12 secrets leave me a comment or send me an email – info@marketingimplementer.com and I’ll send them to you.)

1. Have a specific focus on why you’re there. What do you want to accomplish at this conference? Write down some specific goals and outcomes from your conference.

2. Socialize – Don’t eat alone in your room. You’ve come a long way and need to maximize the most out of meeting new people and networking or JVing with other businesses. There will be plenty of time to sleep when you get home!

3. Bring a big note book, highlighter and even post-it flags. Take notes and highlight those things that you will take action upon right away or when you get home. Put together your action plan BEFORE you leave your conference.

4. Don’t forget to pack your digital camera or digital video recorder. Take note of specific rules of filming and photos at conferences. Take advantage of getting photos of people you want to

Shannon & Michael Cage at the Info Summit

be identified with when promoting your business. Have your camera with you at all times and don’t be shy about asking someone for a photo opportunity. Take these photos and use them on your web site and in your newsletters. Get as much out of attaching yourself to a celebrity as you can. This will pay off huge in the long run!

5. Make sure you pack enough business cards and that it has the right information for people to contact you. There are a few schools of thought on business cards, some don’t have them because they don’t want to be on everyone’s list or radar. Others have plenty and pass out like candy. My preference is to be in the middle of the road. Be calculated on who you give your card to and take notes on them so you can remember who they were when you get home. Also ensure your correct information is on your card.

Since I started my business 3 years ago, I’ve used conferences to help enhance my business more than 100%. When you really take them seriously, and write out your goals for what you want to achieve, conferences can really help your bottom line.In fact, I’m heading out the end of the month to the Glazer-Kennedy Marketing Superconference.

This will be the 4^th time I’ve attended this conference. And every time I go, my business grows because of it. Pick a few conferences in your niche and go to them once a year. I wouldn’t recommend more than 3 or 4 conferences a year because at some point it becomes overkill and there’s only so much you can implement and discover. So go to come conferences, get some great photos and above all, meet some great people and form some wonderful lasting working relationships and friendships!

Successful Keys to Productivity

How can you be more productive? There are so many ways to increase your productivity. Which one to choose? Hmmm…

What’s interesting to me, is my first job out of college was working in sales, out of my house. And I ended up doing that for about 10 years before I even entered an office building. I discovered some interesting things about myself and how I work. One thing: I really like my freedom of time and doing what I need to do on my own terms. And two: I’m much more productive and creative late at night. Now, these two things make it quite interesting and creative when working out of my house these days because I end up working many more hours than I ever did when I worked in an office – go figure!

So lately, I’ve been doing a lot of research to find out how I can be more productive with my days and get more done in shorter periods of time. I’ve discovered some good tools that have helped me and I got so much out of that I thought it would be fun to share with you!

One key that I discovered is that I need more balance between my work, having fun play time (like taking photos, reading, watching movies, playing games, etc.) family time and time to exercise. All of these are very important, yet balance is the key. When I work too much it takes its toll on all aspects of my life. The more balance I have, the healthier I feel, and the more productive I am.  For example, what I found immensely useful was creating a “morning success ritual” which I coined from Eben Pagan’s Wake Up Productive Program. His program has helped me immensely be more productive in my day. Why? Because I start my day with drinking water, exercising, meditating, and eating a healthy breakfast. So, when I get to my office in my house, my head is in the right place and I’m ready to rock-n-roll through my day to be more productive

Here's me and Eben Pagan and the Glazer-Kennedy Info Summit

Another key was doing a couple of exercises each week – (in addition to my morning success ritual.)

1) Taking 20 minutes each week and writing down ALL the things that are on my mind and bothering me. Then, going back through my list and putting a star next to the things that I have control over, and putting a check next to all the things that are out of my control. Next, I go back to all the things that are not in my control and take a deep breath and release. Some of the things that are on my list right now that are in my control are – the huge list of things that I have to do in my own business and for my clients business, need to get my plane ticket to the GKIC Superconference in Chicago, writing my blogs for the next month to get to my marketing coordinator to post and on and on…. What’s out of my control is my worry about will my IRA ever bounce back, what will happen with the economy, etc.

2) Then I write down all the areas of incompleteness in my life, lose ends that need to be tied and where I need to close the loop. Some of these may overlap with the list above. The key is recognizing what’s in your control and what isn’t. Then, planning some small action steps around closing the loops on the important ones. An example would be, maybe you have a bunch of opened email that’s nagging at you because you were away for a few days. So, plan some time on your calendar to tackle that nagging thing and close that loop.

3) Having a daily priority list of what I’m trying to accomplish. My priorities usually start with what actions will bring me income, recognition and help promote me and my clients.

Just doing these three things – has really helped ease my mental state. Plus, it has opened up a lot more space for my brain to then tackle so much more, including having fun!

I find when you’re an entrepreneur, the name of the game is being more productive and how to squeeze more out of each and every day. Experiment, see what works and let me know, I’m always open to new ways of being more productive!

What’s my secret? Are you up for the challenge?

I get asked this question a lot – “What’s your secret to marketing implementation and getting so much accomplished for yourself and your clients?” I love this question because it really gets to the heart of people’s frustrations on getting things done, whether it’s finishing writing a book, article, or creating a new product or service. Let’s face it, taking action can be challenging and sometimes even frustrating, I know, I’ve been there struggling myself, many times.

So, what’s my secret? Well, first it’s creating my plan of action. What is it I’m trying to accomplish? Is it creating a product, writing a book, or maybe launching a product. Once I figure out the goal I want to accomplish, I then put together a marketing plan, product launch plan or action plan. I actually talked at length about this in my last post, check it out here

Once you have a plan, then you need to pick one step that you are willing to take right now to move towards getting this goal accomplished. I’d recommend a small step, not a real big one. In fact, there’s a disease that I sometimes suffer from, and it’s often termed as “analysis paralysis.” I’d take forever analyzing my new idea and going over and over it, and being overwhelmed because there was so much to do and I was paralyzed by this. So, what really helped me was breaking down what I wanted to accomplish into much smaller steps that I could manage and work my way towards accomplishing my goal.

If you’re having trouble figuring out what your goals are, or what you want to accomplish, here is something that has helped me and works for my clients: do an assessment of your business and where you are right now with your marketing. This is incredibly helpful because it gives a really good snapshot of where you are with your business, what kind of marketing you’ve done, what’s working and what’s not working. It also gives us a great place to know what needs to be done in order to improve your marketing right away so we can make some changes to see a more positive outcome for your business.

Some questions that will help you assess your marketing:

Some questions that will help you assess your marketing:

1) What product or service do you deliver? Describe it.

2) Who is your ideal customer? Describe them.

3) Why do they need you?

4) Why would your customers want or need your product or service? Describe a scenario.

5) Why would a customer choose you over your competitors?

6) What’s working right now in your marketing?

7) What’s not working in your marketing?

What would you like to do differently in your marketing to create more prospects/clients?

Once you answer these questions, you’ll have a much better picture of where you are and what you need to do to increase your prospects/clients and keep moving forward. The real key here is to assess your business, come away with some clear goals and direction of what you want to accomplish. Then, put together an action plan, figure out what you can do versus what you can outsource to others, then take some small steps to get yourself on your way to taking massive action towards your goals.

I’ll leave you with this inspiring quote – “If you have great ambition, take as big a step as possible in the directions of fulfilling it, but if the step is only a tiny one, don’t worry if it is the largest one now possible.” -Mildred McAfee Horton, former President of Wesley College

So, go take a step, any step. Take action and you’ll be on your way, moving closer and closer towards accomplishing your goals for 2009. And follow my lead – one of my 2009 goals is to act on my plans – to post my blogs each week. I can do it and so can you! Are you up for the challenge?

 

Choose Life, Choose a Job, Choose a Family, Choose Your Future…

What do you choose? This title of my blog is actually from a song that I love from the second soundtrack from the movie Trainspotting- called “Choose

Soundtrack 2 From Trainspotting

Life” by PF Project. (As an aside this is a great soundtrack, yet the movie was a little disturbing.  Both of these CD’s, if you grew up in the 80’s and have a hankering for the British pop and techno stars of that era like Iggy Pop – you’ll love it!). I started this year with a bang and pulled out full throttle to accomplish my very ambitious goals for the year. This song kept playing in my head, because I had to choose what I wanted out of this year. My last blog started the year with my plan, (check out that post here) I then had to take steps for some action, to make things happen.

Me and Debbie after My Vision Day Birthday Celebration

So what I did next was make a decision to do something completely different and inspiring for my birthday. I contacted my Executive Coaches, Rob Berkley and Debbie Phillips to see if it was possible that I could do a Vision Day for my birthday. I thought it was so appropriate to take the day I was born and use that day as a jumping off point to create an amazing year for me.

The awesome news is it was one of the most coolest, fun and productive birthday’s I’d had in a while. Ok, I know some of you may not think that “working” on your birthday would be fun. Yet, being with Rob and Debbie, it’s really not “work” at all. I’ve known them for over 13 year, so

Rob and I in his Porsche off to Corkscrew Swamp

our day went quite quickly. And Rob and I were able to squeeze some time in to take some inspiring photos at the Corkscrew swamp and nature sanctuary with my new Nikon D90. I have a photo I took in this post.

The upshot of my Vision Day Birthday, was I left that day with a wonderful plan all laid out for my business, and plan for my personal life and for my inspiring “hobby” of photography. I’d totally recommend taking some time out to plan out what you want your year to look like, it’s not too late!

My good friend Janet, Me and My Mom eons ago at Mardi Gras

The month of February is my favorite month of the whole year (and not because it’s my birthday). All sorts of cool things happen in February, it’s Mardi Gras in New Orleans (I grew up there and spent many years celebrating this festive holiday.) It’s many close friends and family members birthdays that I love to celebrate. And it’s s wonderful time for me to give thanks and be very grateful that I was born and have had such amazing experiences in my life that have gotten me to this wonderfully special moment.

Mr. Lizard in Corkscrew Swamp, Naples Florida

Take some time out for you now – choose your life, your family, your future – put your plan together of what you want to accomplish. Make some time for fun, doing things you love, and also take some time to be really grateful for all the wonderful people and things that you have in your life. Choose your future now…

 

Nothing happens in marketing until something moves…

It’s the beginning of 2009, and all best laid plans are being drawn out now for a fantastic 2009.  For some people they’re fearful, worrisome and pessimistic.  For others, they’re enthusiastic, energized and know as long as they’ve mapped out their plan,  and stick to it, they will achieve all their goals for the year.  Which camp are you in?

I’m in the enthusiastic, can’t wait, this is going to be an awesome year camp!  I know things look bleak in the economy.  Yet,  I can’t focus all my energy on gloom and doom, it won’t help me, my business or the economy.  I need to stay fast, true and focused on growing my business.  I need to stay positive, have a plan, stick to it and have faith- then amazing things will happen.  I know if I don’t take any action, nothing is going to move…

Now more than ever is the time you need to shut off the TV, don’t read the paper and focus on positive, enlightening things that will help you grow your business. One of my favorite quotes is “when you hang around 9 broke people, guess who will be the 10th? YOU!” Surround yourself with happy, positive, successful and focused people. Success breads success.

This leads me back to my plan, you see nothing will happen in your marketing of your business until something moves- meaning you take some action.  And it’s usually harder to take action when you don’t have a plan.  I would suggest mapping out some time for yourself- schedule it- and put your game-plan for the year down on paper. It doesn’t have to be anything sophisticated or look good, it’s really a road map for you for the year. I call it my road map to success.

Here’s how I recommend you start-

1-Write down everything you want from this year- break it down into 4 categories- financial, personal, physical and mental

2- Write your goals in a positive format

3- Ensure they are measurable, attainable and within your control

Here’s some ideas-

Financial goals- Will focus around how much money you want to make on a monthly or even annual basis.  Just ensure you are specific and these goals are measurable.

Personal goals- These are things you want to attain in your relationships, family, focusing on hobbies or learning new things, going to a conference,  etc.

Physical goals- Revolve around your physical health, wellness, exercise, eating, etc.

Mental goals- Are things that will improve your psyche like meditating, reading new books, going to a yoga workshop, or attending mental health and wellness workshops at Kripalu, Esalen or  The Omega Institute.

The best thing you can do for yourself this year is make some time to write up your plan and to focus your energy on what you want to achieve in 2009.  Those who have plans, and goals achieve them. Those who don’t have plans, aren’t focused and are all over the map, have difficulty in achieving what they want and even struggle because they don’t have this clarity and focus.

I would urge you to discover more, take time to write up your plans, goals and even dreams for this year and maybe even the next five years!  It will be totally worth it, I promise.  If you’re struggling, find a coach, find a mentor, or find a friend or someone who can help you.  There’s also something that I do every year, in fact I’m going this year for my birthday to do my Vision Day.  This is where I work with my two executive coaches and figure out my plan for the year.  Whatever works for you, just take the time and don’t wait- take action now. Nothing’s going to move in your marketing, your life or your business until you take some action- now get to it!

A Tea Party That Transformed My Life

Before I reveal my tea party tale of life transformation…..Fifty lashes for me, I know, for breaking my own rule and not writing for a whole month- yikes! Many apologies for not writing on a regular basis and of course so much has happened over the past month. I will do my best to give you a peak and get you up-to-speed on some cool things that I’ve discovered…

Here’s how a tea party transformed my life- It was four years ago that I had been laid off for the second time. I was lost and a bit dazed as to where to turn and what to do. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen the lay off coming, I was Director of Corporate Communications and had spent 2 years laying everyone off and it was only a matter of time before I was gone too. However, it still doesn’t make it any easier. It was then that my awesome, inspiring Executive Coach, Debbie Phillips (Founder of Women On Fire- this is her in the photo!) invited me to her first ever Women on Fire Tea Party in NYC. I was thrilled to be a part of this amazing event and a bit nervous and excited because I didn’t know what to expect.

Have you ever gone to an event and felt totally and completely relaxed and at home? Well this is the feeling I got at this first Tea party. It wasn’t like any other event I had gone to before. The women were all professional women, entrepreneurs with their own businesses, executives, writers, film producers, an amazing, and inspiring group. What was so fascinating was how I was able to connect to these women on such a wonderful level- one that went beyond careers and what I did for a living, it was more about who I was and what I wanted to become. Just the thing I had needed to help me figure out what my next move would be. [Photo of the women who attended the first ever Women on Fire Tea Party in NYC- Sept 2004]

Here’s a little bit more about these Women On Fire (WOF) Tea Parties in New York City. I just LOVE them! The tea parties are filled with 15 fabulous women with Debbie Phillips, Founder, who leads this inspiring event.

It’s held at the ultimate NYC Tea parlor- Lady Mendls. The moment I step foot into Lady Mendls a big sigh comes over me and I’m so relaxed and super excited about meeting all the wonderful women who are attending the Tea party along with me.

These Tea parties are not anything like you’ve ever attended before. (I’ll do my best to describe them, but you really need to attend one yourself to really “get” what it’s like.) The atmosphere is perfect- candles smell oh so good and the lighting is perfect, and the flowers are beautiful and the table is set so incredibly well. What really makes these tea parties though isn’t just the atmosphere, it’s the ladies who attend. Debbie has this amazing network of women that she knows and these parties have grown now and are filled with like minded women entrepreneurs, executives, vice presidents and moms a like. Theses Teas are an experience, not just an event. It’s not a “networking” event at all. It’s a place where you can really connect with other like-minded women. The connections I’ve made with all the women at all the many tea parties I’ve attended have been lasting. Many of these women become friends, colleagues and even clients. (A side note- according to Jeffrey Gitomer’s Little Black Book of Connections, “All things being equal, people want to do business with their friends.”)

This past Tea party on December 12 was probably one of my most favorite, because this party was dedicated to me! I was so thrilled to have Debbie dedicate the tea party to me, it meant so much. She always dedicates the tea to someone who is there and someone who isn’t in attendance. I made some more wonderful connections at this tea party as always and can’t wait till the next one!

I wasn’t quite able to put my finger on why I love these tea parties and why they’ve helped transform my life up until now. I’ve been reading Jeffrey Gitomer’s Little Black Book of Connections. One of the things he really harps on is how to connect with people you meet, and he means really connect. As you read these next sentences- really take this in, and read it twice or three times if you have to. I promise, when you get this concept, it will totally improve the way you connect with people you meet and you will be reaping the benefits of your wonderful new relationships.

It’s not about you, it’s about them (the people you are meeting)- ask them a question, ask them their opinion, get to know them. And always ask yourself before you meet someone, “how can I make people better as a result of connecting with me?” Gitomer sums it up best here- “If you make yourself valuable, and memorable, others will want to make you part of their network.” At these tea parties it’s not about you, it’s about meeting other fascinating, inspiring and fun women and connecting and getting to know them. It’s not about giving business cards and pumping people with answers and information. These tea parties are really all about connecting with like-minded people and walking away with friends and colleagues who will be there however they can for years to come.

Don’t wait, use some of these techniques now as you attend holiday parties and celebrate with friends. And I would totally recommend getting Gitomer’s book too- great stocking stuffer!

The 4 Secrets I Discovered from Being on Jury Duty

It was a dreaded day when I had to report to jury duty at 8:15 am in the morning.  I had already put it off a few times, yet I’ve lived here in New Jersey for 19 years and never got called to serve until now. (I’m sure the fact that I’ve moved a lot and lived in a few counties contributed to my not ever being called.) I stood in the check in line to give my little juror piece of paper and get my instructions. I was off to Jury Room A to find a seat.  This was a huge room, with 2 very large flat screen TV’s.  I had brought a bunch of things to read and catch up and wasn’t interested in being lulled by television. This was my 1st secret I discovered while on jury duty- use my time here to learn something and take time out just for me.  So I brought a course that I had bought on CD and put it on my Ipod.  It also had a work book so I could do the exercises.  This was really great and I was able to learn a lot on my 2 hours that I waited to be called.  The thing I didn’t understand was all the people who simply just read the paper, talked on the phone or watched TV.  I didn’t quite understand why they didn’t want to take more advantage of their quality time waiting.  And there were a lot of people- about 200 or more.

Finally around 9:15 am someone came over the PA to let us know we needed to sit tight and be patient.  Eventually a person came in the room to show us a video and to explain to us what would happen next.  My 2nd secret that I discovered about jury duty was that I needed to be ok that I was not in control of this situation at all. I was here for a reason and needed to abide by the rules of the county.  This I had no trouble with because growing up, I was always the kid who won the award for being the most cooperative.  It was just a little nerve wracking not knowing what would happen next and not having much control over it at all.

Right about lunch time was when I got the call to go outside and check in with about 25 other people.  We all lined up and a policeman escorted us over to another building.  It was a maze of corridors, stairs, and tunnels and we finally made it to the judges court room.  We all sat down and the judge began speaking about the case.  It was a civil case and they only needed 3 more jury members.  They passed out 4 sheets of paper with a bunch of questions that we needed to answer.  The judge went through all the questions and if you answered yes, he made you stand up and he would take your name.  The first question is would it be a hardship if you were on the jury.  I of course said yes and stood up because I was self-employed and if I didn’t work, it would be a hardship on me financially.  After we went through all the questions, we had to break for lunch.

After lunch was when I was called up to speak to the judge and both lawyers. I have to say I was a bit intimidated and nervous.  I had to explain my hardship and they sold me on being on the jury because it was going to be a short case and I could bring my computer and work during our breaks.  So I was picked to be on the jury- Petit Juror #5.  After I got on the jury, this was where I discovered Secret #3- when you tell people you’re on a jury, they immediately go the place of what you needed to do to get off.  This really shocked and amazed me.  For one, I can’t lie very well and for those that can, I guess they can get off the jury easily.  I wonder how this affects our justice system- when the premise everyone has is how to get off serving on a jury.  Not that I was thrilled to be here and be picked to be on a jury, yet it felt like I would be able to contribute something that I might not in any other way be able to do.

So the rest of the story is long and I’m thinking about doing a blog series on my experiences as being picked as juror #5.  What I discovered about this experience is Secret #4- it helped discipline me in a way that I haven’t been doing for myself in a while. Because I work at home, I tended to have a more lose schedule. Being on jury duty, I had to have a schedule and in fact got more work done, even while I was on the jury- go figure!  I had a great attitude about being on the jury.  As it turned out, I met some wonderfully kind and inspiring people who under any other circumstances I might not have ever met, much less spent 9 days with them.  If it wasn’t for my other jury members, this could have been a miserable experience.  Instead, we all had a similar caring and kind attitude which made serving all the more worth while.  In fact, I miss my jurors- we spent a lot of time talking about food, recipes, exchanging great resources, and just laughing and carrying on.  I’ve not laughed that much in a span of 9 days ever! [Photo- that's me and Lamont Burr, our officer who took wonderful care of us during our stint as jury members.  He took care of our parking everyday, made sure we knew where to eat lunch, and use the restroom, internet, etc.]

Next time you get the paper in the mail summoning you for jury duty, think twice before getting upset and  trying to get off the jury.  Think of it as a time of discovery for yourself and maybe even possibly being able to help others, meet new people and have some great experiences.  There’s a lot we can do to make our voices heard and participate in the justice system.

What’s Really Behind The Movie, The Secret?

Have you ever seen the movie The Secret?  Well, I had the most absolute pleasure of attending a workshop by the two original people behind The Secret, who never made it into the movie. In fact it was a bit controversial how Rhonda Byrne let them fall onto the cutting room floor.  I found this out by reading a fascinating article in the New York times about them.  I had no idea about how connected they were with the whole law of attraction concept and all the incredible work not to mention all the books they’ve written.  In fact my first taste of the Law of Attraction came from reading Napoleon Hills, Think and Grow Rich, which is a classic that was written in 1936.  I have to admit this whole concept was very new to me over 2 years ago.  I never grew up in an atmosphere where I was taught that anything was possible and to think and be positive.  So I won’t go into my life history, suffice to say these books helped me incredibly and have opened my eyes to a new way of being.

So I thought it would be worth it to shed some light, especially because of of this dim outlook the world seems to have lately.  Before I go any further, I do need you to open your mind on what I’m about to tell you about Esther Hicks.  You see she didn’t write the books, or the teachings behind the Secret.  Esther channels an entity of energy which calls itself Abraham.  And Abraham is the one who’s written all the books and all the teachings of the law of attraction. For some this might be hard to swallow.  This concept of channeling is a bit woo woo and requires you to stretch past your logical mind.  Hence Rhonda didn’t want to take the gamble and their piece wound up on the cutting room floor.

I love new and different things and love to be open about new things. So when I saw they were coming to New York, I went by myself to see their workshop.  It was a simple one day workshop where Esther speaks as Abraham.  The audience members ask tons of questions and Abraham speaks and answers them all. I have to say it was the most fascinating workshop I’ve ever gone to. I learned so much about myself and about others there, it was incredibly worth it.  The gist for me is that I need to pay attention to whatever I’m thinking at all times.  I need to focus on my emotions and feeling good.  When the world is trying to bring me down with doom, gloom and falling stock markets, I focus my attention to things that make me smile like my business and my wonderful clients who I’m enjoying helping make their businesses incredibly successful.

The teachings here to take away from this blog are very simple- to have a more positive outlook on life,- life is an exciting adventure, don’t get caught up in the complaining  mode.  Slow down, be nice, be loving and kind to all of those you meet.  And realize this ONE thing- you can’t control what others think of you, what you can control is NOT to CARE what they think!

So if you want to discover more- check out their latest NY Times Best-Selling book- Money & the Law Of Attraction. It’s a wonderful read and I promise, you won’t be disappointed, in fact, I think you will walk away somewhat enlightened. Let’s all work to shift our own minds and the sheer force of that outlook will most certainly have an impact on the world.